Sex and the Soul of a Woman: The Reality of Love & Romance in an Age of Casual Sex by Paula Rinehart

I am taking a summer school class on Human Sexuality. Some of the assigned reading (Bernie Zilbergeld's The New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex, and Pleasure along with Lonnie Barbach's For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality) made me seek out a book that might offer a more Biblical view of sexuality.

This book was written by a Christian counselor, Paula Rinehart. She discusses the toll that casual sex and intimacy takes on a woman's heart and soul outside of a marriage relationship. She offers ways of guarding sexuality while still retaining femininity. Rinehart also talks about what to look for in a man and what a man's struggle with masculinity might look like (this chapter seemed plagarized from John Eldredge's Wild At Heart, although she does footnote him once or twice).

I found this book to be a good argument against casual and premarital sex. But who hasn't heard that in high school youth group? Does not having sex until you're married guarantee a lifetime of fulfilling emotional and physical intimacy? According to the research out there and the stories of couples seeking counseling in some of my assigned books, the answer is Not Necessarily. In fact, dis-intimacy in all realms of the marriage relationship seems like it is more of the norm. My readings for class (especially David Schnarch's Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love & Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships) addressed better the various aspects of the relationship as a whole in terms of what affects the expression of sexuality.

And so, this book was okay. It did not offer me the more Biblical supplement to my class readings that I was looking for, but maybe this book was not intended to answer my specific questions. I will keep looking. Any suggestions?

I'd like to add that I have read an excellent book by this same author and her husband called Choices: Finding God's Way in Dating, Sex, Singleness, and Marriage. It was very helpful in thinking about dating and the chapter on Singleness was especially good.