A trilogy by Joan Anderson

There arethree books in this trilogy by Joan Anderson: A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman, An Unfinished Marriage, and A Walk on the Beach.

A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman describes the year that Anderson took a sabbatical from marriage. Her marriage had grown stale and when her husband re-located for a new job, Anderson didn't go with him. Instead, she stays at the family's Cape Cod cottage for a year and rediscovers who she is after an adulthood of caring for everyone but herself.

A sabbatical from marriage? Sounds pretty strange and unconventional. So the story doesn't end there. In the second book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson's husband retires and joins her at the cottage. After a year of his own growth, the two of them begin reworking and healing their relationship. It is hopeful and hard at the same time.

The third book, A Walk on the Beach, goes back to Joan's sabbatical year and talks about the friendship she cultivated with Joan Erikson, wife of the late Erik Erikson (the psychologist who came up with the stages of development). The two Joans hang out, play, talk, and support each other in becoming who they really are as individuals.

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I read these three books back-to-back this last week. I'm glad I decided to check them all out at the same time. My favorite was the first one. I'm glad it was followed by the second one because it provided some sort of redemption of the relationship. The last one, although full of wisdom, seemed a bit of a sell-out. However, all of them made for restful, thoughtful reading. They were all an encouragement to examine the expectations we have been living by and to determine our own standards and values.

Some quotes that I wrote down in my journal:

"The great loneliness is that most people don't know who they are." --Joan Erikson

"...all I know is that I have spent the bulk of this year unlearning all the rules, the conditions and goals that were set for me by someone else. Finally I feel mature enough to recover myself - that person I was born to be." --Joan Anderson